So as I was walking home today (I guess technically yesterday, but who's counting?), I passed by the wall where people stick random fliers to gain people's attention. Given that the walls are inundated with such fliers, this generally has the opposite effect, and I tend to tune them out.

However, I noticed one of them today, with a large header that read:

WORLD WILL END on 9-12-2006

Now, given that it was 4:20 p.m. on 9/12/2006 when I saw this, I thought to myself "It better hurry the hell up, then!"
But beneath that it says

Mark your calendar!

So I imagine this was placed there a few days ago and I just didn't notice it. Or maybe someone else found out about this guy and thought people needed a laugh.

Beneath that is a picture of some bearded man at a desk, and some more text.

This is Overseer Yisrayl Hawkins coming to you from the House of Yaweh in Abilene, Texas.
According to Mr. Hawkins and his interpretation of Biblical prophesy, nuclear war will erupt on September 12, 2006, and one third of the humans on the planet will perish.

And here you are, squandering your remaining days in research.

Amusing, no? But wait, there's still more!

For a complete description of humanity's fate, do investigate:
http://yisraylhawkins.com/NuclearWar.aspx?Article=10010.htm





THIS IS REAL
It says so in the Bible

I admit, I tore the thing off the wall so I could check that website. If I had a scanner, I'd put up a picture--I may even be able to hunt one down on campus. Or maybe get a classmate with a digital camera to help me out....

Anywho. Lookie here:

We have about seven months left to get ready. We need to accomplish a lot before this time period. We need to overcome spiritually because there are still some little hang-ups that we have. They're very harmful.

So this was written around February, then.

It's a rather long article, full of insane biblical exegesis that I'm not even going to bother reading, so let's just find out how he gets September 12, 2006:

Now, keep all this in mind. Get a calendar, like I did, a fourteen year calendar. Write down what I say. September 13th was when the seven year peace agreement started; that's when it was confirmed with Rabin. This started the last seven years that were split in half with seven years put in between. This confused all the preachers of all the land up until now.

It began October 13th, 1993. If you count fourteen years, you come up with October 13th, 2007. Now, let's go back to Revelation 9. Remember, they're bound for the great River Euphrates.

Now, the end is October 13th, 2007. That's the end that Daniyl showed in Daniyl 12 where he said it would be for a time, times and the divided time, which means altogether fourteen years. Go to the end, that Daniyl said was going to be the end of man's governments in Daniyl 7. Let me read it to you.

Daniyl 7:11. I beheld, then, because of the voice of the great words which the horn spoke; I beheld until the beast was slain Remember this was under the authority of the beastly system. and his body destroyed, and given to the burning flame That is, the nuclear war or the nuclear burning that Malakyah also talked about, as does Revelation. That is the end of man's governments of the people and by the people. The governments will be destroyed by nuclear activity, the works of their hands that they invented.

Now, go from the end, October 13th, 2007 and come back one year to October 13th, 2006; come back one month because you have a year and a month and you have September 13th, 2006. Write this down. Then you come back one day and you're at September 12th, 2006.

I think the date was planned because of September 11th, 9-11, when they bombed the World Trade Centers with two airplanes. I think they planned it at that time and have worked all this time to bring it about. I think their exact date was planned. Think about it. 9-11, the day after. It's going to be a big joke on the Arab world, but I'm going to tell them about it before it takes place.

And how sure he is that this is going to take place?

In the next few sermons you'll see that we're not wrong on this date. It's totally clear in Scriptures what's going to take place. I'm one hundred percent convinced of this. One hundred percent.

It is now 12:31 a.m., September 13, 2006 where I am. Since God apparently didn't bother involving time zones, I think we've still got a couple of hours. His phone number has a 325 area code, so he apparently lives in Abilene, Texas. So he's an hour behind me, which means he's got a half-hour to be proven right.

This is amazing, really. He apparently had a countdown clock on his homepage--going to the main page, I see " 0 days remaining before the start of nuclear war". There's a video of him ranting on YouTube.

He seems really sure about this.
Let's see how it works out for him.
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Ban on Gays In Conservative Judaism Expected To Be Lifted:

The ban on ordaining openly gay rabbis and on the sanctioning of same-sex marriage will be lifted in the Conservative movement of Judaism by the year's end, a key Conservative Jewish leader announced this week.

Rabbi Jerome Epstein, executive vice president of the United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism, says a committee of scholars who interpret Jewish law for the movement will likely loosen the prohibition when they vote in December.

...

Rabbi Elliot Dorff, vice chairman of the Law Committee and also a respected scholar, supports ordaining gays, saying "it is simply not natural" to demand that they remain celibate.

"We have to interpret God’s will in our time," Dorff told The AP.

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Eagle Ancestors Hunted Early Humans, Skull Study Suggests.

The title really says it all.
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Y'know, there's a lot of idiotic rhetoric about wars on Christianity, Christians, Christmas, etc., in this country--almost always expressed in outrage and indignation that the one, true believers should be persecuted.

Which leads me to wonder... if these people were truly Christian, wouldn't they be welcoming persecution? Didn't Jesus say, "Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. / Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. / Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you."

You'd think they'd leap at chances to be martyrs and prophets. But I guess their ratings and political power means more to them.
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So, cassowaries.

A cassowary's three-toed feet have sharp claws; the dagger-like middle claw is 120 mm (5 inches) long. This claw is particularly dangerous since the Cassowary can use it to kill an enemy, disemboweling it with a single kick. They can run up to 50 km/h (32 mph) through the dense forest, pushing aside small trees and brush with their bony casques. They can jump up to 1.5 m (5 feet) and they are good swimmers.

The 2004 edition of the Guinness World Records lists the cassowary as the world's most dangerous bird. Normally cassowaries are very shy but when disturbed can lash out dangerously with their powerful legs. During World War II American and Australian troops stationed in New Guinea were warned to steer clear of the birds. They are capable of inflicting fatal injuries to an adult human. Usually, attacks are the result of provocation. Wounded or cornered birds are particularly dangerous. Cassowaries, deftly using their surroundings to conceal their movements, have been known to out-flank organized groups of human predators. Cassowaries are considered to be one of the most dangerous animals to keep in zoos, based on the frequency and severity of injuries incurred by zookeepers.

Now I'm imagining John Peters wanting to have a fight with a cassowary in one of his movies because "cassowaries are the fiercest killers in the bird kingdom."
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Cuckoldry as a valuable tool in the fight against terrorism!

Gary Thomas Rowe Jr. ... [was] a controversial F.B.I. informer who infiltrated the Ku Klux Klan during the civil rights struggles of the 1960's....

In 1975, wearing a bizarre cotton hood that resembled a Klan headpiece without the point, he told a Senate committee that the F.B.I. had known of and condoned his participation in violence against black people and had ordered him to sow dissent within the Klan by having sexual relations members' wives [sic].

...

He also testified that the F.B.I. had told him to cause dissension in the Klan. "I was told to sleep with as many wives as I could, to break up marriages," he said.

--"Gary T. Rowe Jr., 64, Who Informed on Klan in Civil Rights Killings, Is Dead", New York Times, October 4, 1998.

Ah, the brilliant tactics of the FBI. We should use that in our fight against al Qaeda!
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"They believe that they will be honored at the gate of heaven for taking out people," Brenda Hammond of the Bonner County Human Rights Task Force said in a telephone interview from Sandpoint, a resort town of 5,000 residents.

Of course, she wasn't talking about Muslim terrorists, but Christian ones. Specifically, members of the Phineas Priesthood, "which opposes interracial marriage, abortion and homosexuality, among other things. It is named after an Old Testament priest who killed an intertribal couple."

No word on how many virgins they expect to be waiting for them, though.

--"Arrests Add to Idaho's Reputation as a Magnet for Supremacists", New York Times, October 27, 1996.
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Your crazy, paranoid Southern kook of the week:

In 1956 or 1960, at the latest, both of our major political parties will nominate a negro Vice-President. . . . [T]he Reds will "liquidate" the President and the country will have a negro President. . . . The Reds will convince the negro President that their armed forces will insure negro domination of the white race in the United States, under Stalin's "all races" law, if the negro will embrace [the Reds]. . . . The Reds will take us over without firing a shot. When that happens, the white man will be required to get a negro wife and the white woman, a negro husband, or be deported or executed.

--from From Demagogue to Dixiecrat: Horace Wilkinson and the Politics of Race, pg. 172
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Over summer break, my brother and his girlfriend told me of one of the professor at UofL; I think she taught some kind of theater class?

In any event, she was black and had some bizarre assignments, one of which was that, over the weekend, the students had to go to a "white" church and a "black" church (the one she assigned was her own) to see the differences between how white people treat religion and how black people do.

I was just imagining today what fun I could have with an assignment like that:

The sloping brows of the negroes were furrowed in an ape-like imitation of Christian devotion. Their thick lips pursed and trembled from, what would become clear in a moment, their imposed silence. Finally one cry broke the silence, and like a pack of dogs they all began howling one after the other, clapping their awkward limbs in the air like an oorang otan. The spectacle seemed fit more for the jungles of Africka from which they are barely removed than for the sanctity of the Lord's house.

The sweltering heat seemed to make no impression on them as they continued their dancing and hooting, though I myself was becoming quite dizzy -- I confess that the pungent odor of so many negroes thus congregated also contributed to my feeling ill. A quick glance showed me that though there was an air conditioner, it was in disrepair, the dust and rust telling me it had been abandoned, perhaps soon after the donor (most likely white) provided it; negroes are, after all, unable to use all but the simplest of tools -- anything more complicated than a bow is examined, and discarded when it is found to be unedible. I swear I could see teeth marks in the grime of the apparatus.

I am so going to get my ass kicked one of these days, but I would love to get to write that. Maybe if someone knows somebody taking that class, I could write it, and have them turn it in along with their own.

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Why can't C-SPAN be like this all the time?

After [George] Huddleston and [Luther] Patrick had debated on radio one evening, they accidentally met in a restaurant, and Patrick, a gregarious young man who fancied himself something of a comedian, attempted to engage the older, more sedate Huddleston in light banter. The congressman, no doubt anxious about the serious threat to his incumbency, became angry and hit Patrick on the head with a catsup bottle.

From "Labor at the Ballot Box: Alabama Politics from the New Deal to the Dixiecrat Movement" by Robert J. Norrell, The Journal of Southern History, 1991, pg 213. Referencing the Birmingham News for May 27, 1936.

I so want a copy of that newspaper article... so much that I just requested Interlibrary Loan to fetch it for me.
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