Monday, July 26, 2004

Not the answer you expected

[CLICHÉ GUY]: God, why do bad things happen to good people?
GOD stares at CLICHÉ GUY as if answer were obvious before replying
[GOD]: Because it's funny.

[TELEMARKETER]: Hello, would you be interested in buying--
[SOME PSYCHO]: If it's not hewn from the bones of the stillborn and swathed in human flesh, I'm not interested in anything!'


Wednesday, July 21, 2004

I was planning on writing an entry concerning my plans for the next week.

But I wrote this entry instead.

Saturday, July 17, 2004

This man deserves our support.

RoboChrist: Part Man. Part Machine. All Messiah.

Monday, July 12, 2004

I'm beginning to see what Henry means about the C-J

The local paper, the Courier-Journal, yesterday published a special article on massage parlors that serve as fronts for prostitution. In fact, they made a 6-page special section on the matter. On the back page of this section, they list 21 massage parlors involved in the business, listing their names, status (open/closed/etc), how many times since 1999 their employees have been arrested for prostitution, and their addresses. They even printed a crude map of Louisville, with the prostitution rings numbered and shown on the map.
When I asked mom if I could borrow the car, she just laughed.

And today, there was an article discussing how a local councilman wants to press the issue of a vote on gay-rights here. And I quote:
Peden says he opposes the gay-rights provision because he believes gays and lesbians choose to be gay and therefore should not be protected under the civil-rights law.
He went on to say that he would prefer that the metro civil-rights code also be silent on religious discrimination because religious affiliation is a choice.

So he's stupid, but at least he's consistently stupid.

Oh, and if you thought you were escaping this entry without any of my typical oddity, consider this:
Leprechauns hide pots of gold at the ends of rainbows.
Care Bears shoot rainbows from their stomachs.
Since Leprechauns cannot know when, or where, a Care Bear will partake of this polychromatic ejaculation, it becomes evident that Leprechauns are parasites living in the stomachs of Care Bears.
Therefore, it is clear that the quickest way to become rich is to capture and gut a Care Bear.

Wednesday, July 7, 2004

Non-Bipedal Room to Give Me a Red Touch

Bad thirsty deer, shy awny sayer.

Myopia in rats leads to a far worse treaty. Decathlon shelves heave dogs. Holy tons took tribes' shot.

Water shouts dandy tofu, Io to it.
Soal watershed has hay brith. I brush ewe, Gog.

Winter yet houses thin shrubs. Tough ham hit, gnawed a tad.