Friday, April 29, 2005

"In conclusion, then, I must inform you that your chemical, biological and nuclear stockpiles are completely disorganized."
"Disorganized? Uh, we may be having some language difficulties here. Does the young lady mean that our defenses are disorganized on a political level?"
"No. A molecular level. We teleported them into the sun fifteen minutes ago."

Thursday, April 28, 2005

This is unconscionable.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

For those of you in Louisville, has there been any mention of protests against this rabble?

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

You go to war with the army you have

...which apparently includes cardboard dummies.

Monday, April 25, 2005

If God is purely good, would this mean that zhe is limited in the sense that zhe cannot do evil?

I suppose one could put forth the argument that zhe is infinitely good, so zhe's clearly infinite and therefore unlimited.

I'm taking limitations to mean limitations on acts one can perform, so let's assume a set A that consists of all actions possible. This set is almost certainly infinite.

Then there's the set of all evil acts, E--also infinite. The set of acts God can perform is G = A - E.

If there exists a bijective function F: G → A, then clearly the two sets are the same size. I would imagine that such a function exists, although it would be difficult to come up with one... especially given that what actions should fall into E is rather subjective.

So if all this is true, then |A| = |G|, which means God is just as infinite in hir goodness as zhe would be if zhe were allowed to do evil.
More proof that Bush puts ideology before science and reality.

Sunday, April 24, 2005

My sentiments exactly:

Let's say you join the Army.

You go through basic training and are sent to Iraq. One day, your unit comes under fire. Everybody shoots back except you. When your commanding officer demands to know why, you explain that as a Christian, you have moral objections to killing people.

I'd wager most of us would think you a couple of companies short of a full battalion. If you agree, then you're going to love — by which I mean, hate — what's happening with your local pharmacist.


People have an absolute right — indeed, an absolute duty — to oppose abortion if conscience so dictates. They have the right to pen letters to the editor, to support politicians who share their views, to demonstrate and agitate.

But no one has the right to refuse to perform some foreseeable aspect of their job. I mean, if pharmacies of the future began dispensing crack, OK I might sympathize with the pharmacist who refused on moral grounds. How was she to know that would become part of the job description when she signed on?

However, just as the soldier in the scenario should have known that shooting people might be part of his day's work, so should a candidate for a pharmacy job understand that she might have to hand out contraceptive pills and devices. She should either resolve to mind her own business or keep searching the want ads.

I mean, what's next? Can the clerk at Blockbuster refuse to rent R-rated movies because he objects to explicit language? Can the vegan who works at McDonald's refuse to take orders for Big Macs? Tobacco kills 440,000 Americans a year. If I work at 7-Eleven, can I refuse to sell Marlboros?

Of course not. So by what right do these "activist" pharmacists get to impose their morals on the rest of us? And by what logic do lawmakers legitimize their ability to do so?

There's no moral puzzler here, folks. In fact, the solution is real simple. You don't like what the job requires? Fine.

Get another job.


Friday, April 22, 2005

Swell. In addition to family groups complaining that we can no longer execute children, we have Bill O'Reilly as the guest of honor for a cruise called "The Battle for American Values".

And, really, who knows more about American values than Bill O'Reilly? (Debora, you probably don't want to read everything on that site)
2 Evangelicals Want to Strip Courts' Funds

As part of the discussion, Perkins and Dobson referred to remarks by Dobson earlier this year at a congressional dinner in which he singled out the use by one group of the cartoon character SpongeBob SquarePants in a video that Dobson said promoted a homosexual agenda.

Dobson was ridiculed for his comments, which some critics interpreted to mean the evangelist had determined that the cartoon character was gay.

Dobson said the beating he took in the media, coming after his appearance on the cover of newsmagazines hailing his prominence in Bush's reelection, proved that the press will only seek to tear him down.

"This will not be the last thing that you read about that makes me look ridiculous," he said.

For once Dobson speaks the truth! Especially considering just a few paragraphs above the article cites him whining that Justice Kennedy looked to laws in Europe for his decision on executing minors, but didn't look at the laws of countries that fare less well in the matter of civil rights:

Perkins and Dobson laid out a history of court rulings they found offensive, singling out the recent finding by the Supreme Court that executing minors was unconstitutional. They criticized Justice Anthony M. Kennedy's majority opinion, noting that the Republican appointee had cited the laws of foreign nations that, Dobson said, applied the same standard as "the most liberal countries in Europe."

"What about Latin America, South America, Central America? What about China? What about Africa?" Dobson asked. "They pick and choose the international law that they want and then apply it here as though we're somehow accountable to Europe. I resent that greatly."

Yes, I'm sure China is the perfect role model for us to take our laws from.

Not to mention the fact that we have the co-founder of Focus on the Family complaining that we can no longer execute children.

Then there's this gem of a quote, from his April 11 radio broadcast:

I heard a minister the other day talking about the great injustice and evil of the men in white robes, the Ku Klux Klan, that roamed the country in the South, and they did great wrong to civil rights and to morality. And now we have black-robed men, and that's what you're talking about.

But I think Dobson still has some work to do if he wants to surpass Edwin Vieira:

Not to be outdone, lawyer-author Edwin Vieira told the gathering [not the same gathering as Dobson held] that Kennedy should be impeached because his philosophy, evidenced in his opinion striking down an anti-sodomy statute, “upholds Marxist, Leninist, satanic principles drawn from foreign law.”

Ominously, Vieira continued by saying his “bottom line” for dealing with the Supreme Court comes from Joseph Stalin. “He had a slogan, and it worked very well for him, whenever he ran into difficulty: ‘no man, no problem,’ ” Vieira said.

The full Stalin quote, for those who don’t recognize it, is “Death solves all problems: no man, no problem.” Presumably, Vieira had in mind something less extreme than Stalin did and was not actually advocating violence. But then, these are scary times for the judiciary. An anti-judge furor may help confirm President Bush’s judicial nominees, but it also has the potential to turn ugly.

That's right. We've got people calling themselves the Judeo-Christian Council for Constitutional Restoration implicitly advocating murdering judges who disagree with them. Real Christian of them.

“The Constitution is not what the Supreme Court says it is,” Schlafly asserted.

Perhaps Ms. Schlafly is unfamiliar with Marbury v. Madison? Quoting from,

[W]hile the case limited the court's power in one sense, it greatly enhanced it in another by ultimately establishing the court's power to declare acts of Congress unconstitutional. Just as important, it emphasized that the Constitution is the supreme law of the land and that the Supreme Court is the arbiter and final authority of the Constitution. As a result of this court ruling, the Supreme Court became an equal partner in the government.

So it looks like the Supreme Court does get to say what the Constitution is. And has gotten to do so for over 200 years now.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

If true, this is most disconcerting.
Roy Edroso, quoting Condoleeza Rice, writes:

...from the practical point of view there is no necessity to export democracy. The people themselves feel that they want to have those freedoms that you get from democratic development. If you ask people whether they want to be able to say what they want to say, whether they want to practice whatever religion they chose, whether they want the freedom to educate their children, girls and boys, whether they want to be free from that knock on the door from the secret police, the people will say, yes, of course we want this. And that is why there is no need to export democracy or to implement democracy from above. People must be given the opportunity to freely express their wishes. And they will choose democracy, and so here I think the old terminology about exporting democracy has gotten old.

Very heartwarming, Madame Secretary, but if that is the case, why did we bomb the shit out of Iraq?

Of course, for all those still claiming that we went into Iraq to export democracy, I have to ask: if we care so much about the well-being of their government, why are we man-handling their legislators?

Putting it in context, Professor Cole writes

The incident will seem minor to most Americans.... But such an incident is a serious affront to national honor, and Iraqi male politicians don't often weep.


Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Ban on gay foster parents sparks battle:

"The truth is that a parent's sexual orientation has no negative consequence on the children that are raised in those homes," said Randall Ellis, head of the Lesbian/Gay Rights Lobby of Texas. "Those children are not adversely affected."

But Cathie Adams, president of the conservative Texas Eagle Forum, said foster children should not be placed in the care of gay and bi-sexual foster parents.

"We should not be exposing these children to an immoral, unhealthy lifestyle," Adams said. "These children in foster care have already been traumatized enough."

No, they would obviously be much better off in your care, where you can irreversibly pervert them with your vitriol.
DeLay calls Justice Kennedy's conduct 'outrageous':

"We've got Justice Kennedy writing decisions based upon international law, not the Constitution of the United States? That's just outrageous. And not only that, but he said in session that he does his own research on the Internet? That is just incredibly outrageous," DeLay said during an interview on Fox News Radio's The Tony Snow Show.

I think Mr. Durbin had the right idea:

"Has the Internet become the devil's workshop?" said Dick Durbin of Illinois, the Senate's No. 2 Democrat. "Is it some infernal machine now that needs to be avoided by all right-thinking Americans? What is Mr. DeLay trying to say, as he is stretching to lash out at judges who happen to disagree with his political point of view."


Tuesday, April 19, 2005


Republican backers on the committee have said the fact that Bolton, currently undersecretary of state for arms control and international security, is President George W. Bush's choice for the UN job is sufficient reason for them to support him.

So it's not that he's the best man for the job, or even moderately qualified, or even shows an ounce of respect for the organization we'd be sending him to cooperate with. He should be the ambassador because Bush says he should.


Monday, April 18, 2005

"...You want me to meet you at the Math and Sciences building when it gets dark and bring as many explosive chemicals as possible.

I don't know about you, but that sounds like the perfect date to me."

Sunday, April 17, 2005

A girl in my class just told me that she wanted to go out with me.

So I hit her and ran off.

Saturday, April 16, 2005

Religious people are idiots:

DEATHS from cervical cancer could jump fourfold to a million a year by 2050, mainly in developing countries. This could be prevented by soon-to-be-approved vaccines against the virus that causes most cases of cervical cancer - but there are signs that opposition to the vaccines might lead to many preventable deaths.

The trouble is that the human papilloma virus (HPV) is sexually transmitted. So to prevent infection, girls will have to be vaccinated before they become sexually active, which could be a problem in many countries.

In the US, for instance, religious groups are gearing up to oppose vaccination, despite a survey showing 80 per cent of parents favour vaccinating their daughters. "Abstinence is the best way to prevent HPV," says Bridget Maher of the Family Research Council, a leading Christian lobby group that has made much of the fact that, because it can spread by skin contact, condoms are not as effective against HPV as they are against other viruses such as HIV.

Yes, that's right. Abstinence is the best way to prevent something that they have been emphasizing spreads by skin contact.

"Giving the HPV vaccine to young women could be potentially harmful, because they may see it as a licence to engage in premarital sex," Maher claims, though it is arguable how many young women have even heard of the virus.

Just how harmful could the HPV vaccine be? Will it, say, be killing a million women a year by 2050?

The International Agency for Research on Cancer in Lyon, France, calculates that by then deaths from cervical cancer will reach a million a year in poor countries if rates of infection, and of cancer detection and treatment, do not improve.

A scene I'd like to see:

*SexyGirl has been attempting to seduce StoicMan in order to make him lay down his arms and stop butting into her evil plans*
[StoicMan]: Madam, I'm a necrophiliac. If you really want to seduce me, you'll have to start by slitting your throat.

Friday, April 15, 2005

How we support the troops:

Tens of thousands of people who want to wipe out their debts in bankruptcy court would have to work out repayment plans instead under legislation Congress approved Thursday.

A 302-126 vote by the House sent the legislation to President Bush, who said he was eager to sign the measure, the biggest rewrite of the bankruptcy code in a quarter-century. It marks the second major change in law to benefit business since Republicans increased their House and Senate majorities in last fall's elections.


Democrats were furious that the GOP leadership allowed none of the 35 amendments they had proposed earlier to be voted on. They particularly wanted provisions that would exempt from the new bankruptcy requirements military personnel returning from Iraq and Afghanistan, and people whose indebtedness is the result of financial identity theft.


Thursday, April 14, 2005

How we defend the "sanctity" of marriage.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

One problem with my participating in Day of Silence is that nobody notices any difference.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

In a similar vein to my post on Afghanistan a while back, I present you with this, courtesy of Terry Jones:

A report to the UN human rights commission in Geneva has concluded that Iraqi children were actually better off under Saddam Hussein than they are now.

This, of course, comes as a bitter blow for all those of us who, like George Bush and Tony Blair, honestly believe that children thrive best when we drop bombs on them from a great height, destroy their cities and blow up hospitals, schools and power stations.

It now appears that, far from improving the quality of life for Iraqi youngsters, the US-led military assault on Iraq has inexplicably doubled the number of children under five suffering from malnutrition. Under Saddam, about 4% of children under five were going hungry, whereas by the end of last year almost 8% were suffering.

And according to the Iraq Index, whereas before the war the average amount of electricity generated nationwide was 4400 megawatts, last month it was 3642. The average hours of electricity per day? 10 hours. Which isn't such a surprise if you believe the Seattle Times, who say that "None of the 19 electrical plants that have had U.S.-financed repair work is being run correctly".

Friday, April 8, 2005

Great Expectations for Dickens theme park

A theme park based on the life and work of author Charles Dickens is to be built in Kent, one of the men behind "Dickensworld" says.

The 60 million pound project will recreate the Victorian era when young children worked in sweatshops, Britain ruled over a vast empire and Dickens penned classic works like "Bleak House" and "The Pickwick Papers."

Young children in sweatshops? Maybe even chimney-sweepers? I think this stands a fair chance of edging out Disneyland.

Thursday, April 7, 2005

Sony patents 'real-life Matrix'

I think I speak for Jason when I say, "SKYNET!!"

Wednesday, April 6, 2005

If people who annoy violent men are "cruising for a bruising", then are matadors "soaring for a goring"?
And are blasphemers "kiting for a smiting"?

Sunday, April 3, 2005

Was reading an article, Mourning World Gets First Glimpse of Pope, and was rather struck by this assertion:

The pope died very serenely Saturday evening, "like Jesus," he said.

Um. I may be wrong about this, but I thought being crucified was a particularly painful way to die. I seem to recall the agony Christ went through as being rather central to many people's theologies.

Bad Photoshop skills at work!

I present to you now, Monkey Jesus:

Monkey Jesus

Because monkeys need to be saved, too.

Friday, April 1, 2005

Change of heart

Contrary to what I said earlier, due to my newfound religious beliefs I now support this effort to expand student freedoms.

"Some professors say, 'Evolution is a fact. I don't want to hear about Intelligent Design (a creationist theory), and if you don't like it, there's the door,'" Baxley said, citing one example when he thought a student should sue.

Amen, Dennis! No longer shall I have to tolerate those elitist snobs who deny the self-evident truth of how this world came into being. Anyone whose mind is open to the truth will see that Ra the Sun God masturbated into his own mouth and spat out Shu the Wind and Tefnut the Rain! Now, finally, I have standing to sue to have this fact included in the school's curriculum!