It's funny because it's true

Just fired off another letter to the Exponent in reply to this abomination:

I suppose it is fitting that feeble protests like Mr. Twardowski's (February 13) are the best defense that Purdue Pete can muster. Pete is emblematic of deceit, and what have we in this fellow's letter but irrelevancies, straw men, and brazen claims of telepathy? He, like Mr. Yoder before him (February 9), would have you believe, my friends, that he is privy to what facts I know and do not know.

I know why we are called "boilermakers", good sir. Because, dismayed that our skill was not enough to provide victory, two coaches unscrupulously conscripted brawny outsiders for the sole purpose of winning football games. Rightly incensed by this dearth of morals, we were attacked as a team of "Sluggers, Cornfield Sailors, Haymakers, and Boilermakers" (http://www.purdue.edu/usp/purdue_pride/history.shtml#boilermakers), and adopted this in a sick notion of pride. You say that "Pete is representative of that time"? Let him, then! Let him represent this blight on our past, let him be the emblem of our shame, our turpitude! And let him stand for the university itself, if you will.

I, meanwhile, in my love of this institution, wish to have it represented by a far nobler creature than this macrocephalic marketing gimmick. The pudu is truly one of God's most honorable creatures--they do not cheat, they do not resort to whatever dirty tricks may enable them to win. I say to you, good fellows, adopt the pudu as the symbol, not of a blackened past, but of a bright future! Join him to help our university regain its moral standing by aiding endangered species such as he!

And always remember, my friends: you cannot spell "Purdue" without "Pudu".