Dead Racists Society

Just sent this letter to the Purdue Exponent:

Mr. Skaggs' idea of ridding ourselves of Purdue Pete is commendable. But to replace him with a squirrel? That's so pedestrian. No, my friends, what we require as a mascot is this:

The Purdue Pudu.

What is a pudu, you ask? Only the cutest animal on earth! Compare Pete (https://engineering.purdue.edu/ECN/FunStuff/PurduePete/) to pudu (http://www.bobharris.com/content/view/673/99/). The choice is obvious.

"But," I hear the protest on some lips, "what does a miniature deer, terminably cute though it be, have to do with our reputation as an engineering school?" A meritless complaint. Not all at Purdue major in Engineering. But to the point, how does Pete relate to chemical, nuclear, biomedical and biological engineering? The pudu has as much to do with modern engineering as the macrocephalic man he would replace. We have yet the Boilermaker Special to tie us to the Industrial Revolution.

Enough, though, of Pete. There are clear benefits to the Purdue Pudu. To begin, it rolls off the tongue smoothly, containing assonance, consonance, alliteration, and rhyming. "Purdue Pete", on the other hand, sports only alliteration.

Further, the pudu would be a unique mascot. Too many college mascots are disfigured men. But how many are deer? A scant number indeed.

Some may point out that all these arguments hold, to greater or lesser degree, also for Earl the Squirrel. True enough. Yet there are benefits the pudu brings that the squirrel cannot.

The pudu is an endangered species. Therefore by adopting it as our mascot, Purdue can appear concerned for threatened animals, and perhaps make it policy to remedy such endangerment. If so, Purdue would accomplish good and benefit from a humanitarian reputation.

Some may think I jest. Not so! I am serious enough to set up an on-line petition, available at http://www.petitiononline.com/8cts/petition.html

Spread the word of the Purdue Pudu!