Finally, I can sate my male cravings to kill and win both physically and mentally

This must be the greatest sport in the world:

Welcome to chessboxing, a sport that prides itself on its incongruous mix of muscle and mind. Think jab with your right, counter with your queen.

The rules are simple: six rounds of speed chess interlaced with five three-minute rounds in the ring. Each competitor has 12 minutes in total on the chess timer. Victory is by knockout, checkmate or resignation, or failing any of those, by a points-based scoring system.

If it sounds surreal, to a certain extent it is. But chessboxing is growing in popularity, particularly in Germany, Eastern Europe and Russia.

...

The concept was the brainchild of Iepe Rubingh, a Dutch artist who took the idea from a comic, Froid Equateur. The first bouts, staged five years ago, were more performance art than sport, but the oxymoronic nature of the contest has caught on.