Equal-Opportunity Damnation

I think I've had an epiphany--I finally get Satanists. When you think back on it, Satan has been at the forefront of every civil rights movement:

• Satan was behind abolition, as ably demonstrated by the most wonderfully-titled pamphlet ever, "A Dialogue Between an Abolitionist Croaker, a Citizen of Boston, and the Prince of Darkness."
• Satan was for allowing interracial marriage
• Satan is behind feminism
• Satan is for keeping abortions legal
• And today, Satan is for gay marriage:

Satan has warred mightily against this region, and has effectively neutralized it through the influence of principalities of rationalism, humanism, intellectual pride and spiritual arrogance. Massachusetts, as well as all of New England, has become a cemetery of churches, a breeding ground for heretical doctrine, and intellectual furnace energizing attitudes of godlessness, rational arrogance and secularism. It is no coincidence, of course, that something as dramatically distant from the Christian worldview as gay marriage would be originated in this region.

Plus, as you can see, Satan is responsible for the spread of "the influence of .. rationalism, [and] humanism".

Now doesn't he sound like a great guy? And a lot less blood on his hands than God, too.