Tuesday, December 7, 2004

Another Thanksgiving anecdote

Over Thanksgiving, my step-brother Benji, mom and I got into a conversation about religion--in specific, Judaism--after we Googled "rabbi AND prayer AND porn" to find the prayer that Shlomo Eliahu composed for visiting porn sites while visiting the web.

In the midst of this conversation, Benji noted the above phenomenon wasn't terribly surprising, since Judaism has a prayer for just about everything. As an example, he explained that after God flooded the Earth, he created a rainbow to symbolize to Noah the promise that he would never do it again. So according to the rabbis, whenever you see a rainbow now it means that God is reminding us that the only reason he's not smiting us like a red-headed step-child is because he said he wouldn't. We are supposed to therefore recite a prayer in thanks.

I like to think that said prayer goes something like this: "Blessed are you, Lord our God, who does not give us the smitings we so richly deserve."

I have also of late discovered that (at least according to The Infancy Gospel of Thomas) Jesus was not a very nice child. He was exceptionally arrogant, insulting, and had a habit of cursing or killing people that made him angry.

I am convinced that Jason should make a movie based on this: Jesus as a rebellious teenage biker.

No comments: