Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Gays are WMDs

We already know that gays cause wildfires, as well as tsunamis, tornadoes and hurricanes. But apparently they also cause earthquakes:
An Israeli parliamentarian said that several earthquakes felt in Israel recently were a consequence of gays and the parliament's acceptance of them.

Shlomo Benizri of the ultra-Orthodox Jewish Shas Party, said the way to stop the tremors was for parliament to reverse its trend of liberalising laws concerning homosexuals.


"Why do earthquakes happen? One of the reasons is the things to which the Knesset (parliament) gives legitimacy, to sodomy," Benizri said during a parliamentary debate on earthquake preparedness.

A cost-effective way of averting earthquake damage, he added, would be to stop "passing legislation on how to encourage homosexual activity in the state of Israel, which anyway brings about earthquakes".

"Why do earthquakes happen?" Benizri asked. At which point, his fifth-grade science teacher wept from shame. Maybe he should re-enroll in grade school so he can learn about tectonic plates. And I'm astonished that he felt this was something that ought to be brought up during a parliamentary debate on earthquake preparedness. He didn't even wait for something even related to gay rights to bring up the earthquakes--no, so secure in his knowledge that gay sex "brings about earthquakes", he felt that the government should take this into consideration when preparing for them. As opposed to doing something sensible like trying to predict the next earthquake or building secure infrastructures.

Although, y'know, maybe he's on to something after all. I've heard that when you make love to a gay man, the earth moves. That's probably why California has so many earthquakes--not to mention that gaggle of gays in Indonesia.

[Edit 2/21/2008] Several members of the Knesset are apparently calling for Shas to censure Benizri and another homophobic MP in their party.


Anonymous said...

From an old SubGenius story: the beings formerly known as "Jesus" and "Jim Jones" are looking down on Earth from the bridge of the Mothership:

JJ: It's been too long since you were down there. You forget...
J: What?
JJ: They think like bugs down there.

Skemono said...

I'm not sure that Jesus ever forgot that.