Dogpiling on Huckabee

I have (deservedly, I feel) picked on Ron Paul a bit. So let's jump on the bandwagon and pick on Mike Huckabee!

Mike Huckabee hates Mexicans.

And gays.

I believe to try to legitimize that which is inherently illegitimate would be a disgraceful act of government. I feel homosexuality is an aberrant, unnatural and sinful lifestyle, and we now know it can pose a dangerous public health risk.

And ducks.

[W]atching ducks land on a lake in Arkansas in the winter is about the closest to Heaven as you can find on this earth... and as someone who believes, according to my faith, I will go to Heaven when I die, I am pretty sure that there is duck hunting in Heaven!

And women.

_ Rejected the idea of women in combat "because of my strong traditional view that women should be treated with respect and dignity and not subject to the kinds of abuses that could occur in combat."

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_ Said he believed no one has a constitutional right to an abortion and supported requiring minors to obtain parental consent. Huckabee also said he supported requiring doctors to discuss abortion alternatives and a waiting period.

Yes, those poor women need protecting from that scary real world.

And, uh, more women. Or more hatred. Via

A full-page ad in USA Today Aug. 26 voiced the affirmation of 131 evangelicals to the Southern Baptist Convention that "you are right!" in holding forth the Bible's teachings on marriage.

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Among those signing the USA Today affirmation are ... Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee and his wife, Janet ... .

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The SBC article describes marriage as "the uniting of one man and one woman in covenant commitment for a lifetime." It also notes, "The husband and wife are of equal worth before God, since both are created in God's image. ... A husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. ... A wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband even as the church willingly submits to the headship of Christ."

Mike Huckabee also hates science.

Huckabee says his campaign is like the flight of a bumblebee.

"It's said that, according to the law of aeronautics and the wingspan and circumference of the bumblebee, it is aeronautically impossible for the bumblebee to fly," he says. "However, the bumblebee, being unaware of these scientific facts, goes ahead and flies anyway."

He really hates science.

I mean really, really hates it.

Oh, I believe in science. I certainly do. In fact, what I believe in is, I believe in God. I don't think there's a conflict between the two. But if there's going to be a conflict, science changes with every generation and with new discoveries and God doesn't. So I'll stick with God if the two are in conflict.

He also hates logic and gays and anthropology and history.

I don't think the issue's about being against gay marriage. It's about being for traditional marriage and articulating the reason that's important. You have to have a basic family structure. There's never been a civilization that has rewritten what marriage and family means and survived.

That goes double for the history of the U.S.

When our founding fathers put their signatures on the Declaration of Independence, those 56 brave people, most of whom, by the way, were clergymen, they said that we have certain inalienable rights given to us by our creator, and among these life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, life being one of them.

He hated Bill Clinton enough to free Wayne Dumond, who celebrated his freedom by sexually assaulting and murdering another woman.

But he loves God! And God loves him!

[Edit] Um, wow. Huckabee loves God, but he doesn't seem so fond of the whole "thou shalt not steal" bit:

In the 1992 contest with Bumpers, Huckabee used campaign funds to pay himself as his own media consultant. Other payments went to the family babysitter.

In his successful 1994 run for lieutenant governor, he set up a nonprofit curtain known as Action America so he could give speeches for money without having to disclose the names of his benefactors. He failed to report that campaign travel payments were for the use of his own personal plane.

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In the governor's office, his grasp never exceeded his reach. Furniture he'd received to doll up his office was carted out with him when he left ...

Until my paper, the Arkansas Times, blew the whistle, he converted a governor's mansion operating account into a personal expense account, claiming public money for a doghouse, dry-cleaning bills, panty hose and meals at Taco Bell. He tried to claim $70,000 in furnishings provided by a wealthy cotton grower for the private part of the residence as his own, until he learned ethics rules prevented it. ...

...Finally, unbelievably, Huckabee once sued to overturn the ban on gifts to him.

Also? In case you weren't aware of it, Huckabee hates women, gays and science. Because the Bible tells him to:

Ask the retarded Fort Smith teenager, raped by her stepfather, who sought Medicaid funding for an abortion as federal law required. Huckabee stood in the hospital door, at least figuratively, to prevent state funding. Ask the gay people belittled by his cracks about "Adam and Steve." Ask the scientists who've seen evolution virtually disappear from the textbooks and classrooms of Arkansas with his administration's acquiescence.