"Marge, you being a cop makes you the man. Which makes me the woman!"

Somewhat hidden in this post is a hint of why people are so obsessed with preventing gay marriage. TRex quotes insecure wanker Jules Crittenden, taking issue with David Neiwert's defense of stay-at-home dads (like himself):

Let's face it, while any real man can wipe a kid's ass, do the dishes and the laundry, read kids bedtime stories, cook dinner, all that, moms tend to make better mothers. You know why? Because they do. Some of them are horrible failures at motherhood, and some guys are better at it than women. Some guys are horrible failures at fatherhood, and some women are better at it than men. So what. Most guys I know make better dads than moms, and its all they can do to manage that.

We hear over and over again that "gender matters" in a marriage--usually to distinguish anti-gay marriage efforts from anti-miscegenation efforts, because race doesn't matter in marriage. The only way this makes sense is with the sexist thinking vomited up by Crittenden above: there are certain "mother" tasks, and certain "father" tasks. Apparently "wip[ing] a kid's ass, do[ing] the dishes and the laundry, read[ing] kids bedtime stories, [and] cook[ing] dinner" are all "mother" tasks (and lord only knows what the "father" tasks comprise). And if a man is doing these, this doesn't mean that the division is an archaic, sexist, meaningless notion--no, it just means that the man is being the "mother."

One would be hard-pressed to parody his loutish attempt at justifying these divisions: women do better at the "mother" tasks, he reasons, "Because they do." That's it. It is simply axiomatic, unquestionable, so there's really no reason to do something like bring up evidence! What a joy this man must be to live with--"No, honey, I can't do the dishes because I'm male and genetically incompetent at it. You'll have to do them."

If one accepts this disgustingly misogynistic worldview, then gay marriage is obviously a bad idea: kids need "moms" to do the "mother" tasks, and "dads" to do the "father" tasks. And since these roles are simply "naturally" divided along gender lines, we must keep mixed-sex marriages and eschew same-sex marriages... for the sake of the children, you understand.

That men like Crittenden might be forced to help around the house if people start catching on that men are capable of doing so is purely coincidental.