I gave blood yesterday, for the first time. The lady gave me a foam piggy to squeeze as she sucked my blood; I wanted to keep it, but she said I couldn't.
But now I know that those who say you're supposed to get dizzy and hungry after having your blood drained are vile, pernicious liars.
Anyways. According to one site I'm following, most (in fact, all the ones that they're keeping track of) of the news channels have declared that both Indiana and Kentucky have gone to Bush. I am deeply ashamed.
The cleansings shall begin tomorrow. *sharpens his blades*
There have been numerous statements made to the effect of "If Bush gets reelected, I'm fleeing the country." But if we all do that, it'll just leave Bush's constituency as the sole population of America--then he'll be completely unopposed, and able to pass any crazy laws he likes. Imagine if he were able to repeal the 22nd amendment.
And now, Pope Buddha the First--the waterfowl previously known as Duck--shall boggle your minds with his geniosity.
Today, Duck shall use mathematical induction to debunk the Holocaust.
What is mathematical induction, you ask? It is a technique used to prove a proposition true for the entire set of natural numbers. First, you must prove the proposition true for some initial number N0, which is usually 0 or 1, but could be anything. Then you prove that if the proposition holds for N, it must hold for N + 1. This has a domino effect of proving the proposition true for all numbers greater than or equal to N0.
(As an aside, the opposite of induction is called infinite descent, which would make an excellent name for one of the moves of Harold the Dork Knight.)
As an example, just to whet your appetite, Duck shall prove that all horses in a set of N horses are the same color.
Base case: Clearly, this is true when N = 1. All horses in any set of 1 horse are the same color.
Inductive step: Assume that the proposition holds for N = K; that is, all the horses in a set of K horses are the same color. Consider then any group of K + 1 horses--let us number them 1,2,3,...,k,k+1. By our assumption, the first K horses (1,...,k) are the same color, as are the last K horses (2,...,k+1). Since these two sets overlap, all K + 1 horses must be of the same color. Therefore, the proposition is true for K + 1 and thus all horses are the same color.
And now, Duck's long-awaited proof that the Holocaust was an odious lie. The so-called "Holocaust" involved the deaths of millions of people; Duck shall prove that no-one, in fact, died in the Holocaust, and therefore it did not happen.
Base case: We know that there is at least one person that "survived" this "Holocaust", and therefore did not die. Let us call him "Magneto".
Inductive step: Assume there are K people who did not die in the Holocaust. Add Magneto to this group to arrive at a group of K + 1 people who did not die in the Holocaust.
Ergo, nobody died in the Holocaust.
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